Hi, I'm Robin.
I used to hate my body and myself. Food was the boss of me and life was scary.
The setting: 1981. My first year of college. Signed up for a 6-wk. trial membership at an all ladies facility called Gloria Stevens Figure Salon (The logo was a big-haired, tiny-waisted caricature called Shirley Shapely).
My career in the fitness industry started with certifications in group fitness and aerobics. (I added Personal Training from 2002-2021.)
Within a few weeks of signing up, I was invited by one of the instructors to apply for a position as an instructor. I didn’t feel qualified or worthy. I still had occasional lingering behaviors from bulimia that had been out of control during high school. It was my dirty, shameful secret and I hated myself for it. (I’m dating myself here, but at that time, bulimia wasn’t talked about. When I was having stomach pain and came out to my Dr. he cocked his head and looked at me like “I don’t get it.”) Being desperate for accountability and to get back in integrity with me, I took the job. I knew that if I was counseling women in the eating programs I couldn’t be telling them to do it by the book if I was cheating.
Within a short time, I decided to be honest publicly and that was the clincher. It helped me accept myself and my story, and I realized the freedom that came with being vulnerable with the women I was helping. (I’ve since learned that my being vulnerable helps other women to own their stories and accept themselves.)
Today, I love my life and who I've become
Going through my eating disorder prepared me for continued self-discovery and growth. I’ve invested tens of thousands of dollars and what feels like a bazillion hours of my time and energy on life tools, coaches, therapy, books, and other learning because I love it and am committed to being a life-long learner.
I wouldn’t trade what I’ve discovered for anything. I’ve learned that my not-enoughness showed up as people-pleasing, perfectionism, and thinking I had to go 100 mph to prove my worth. I’ve learned that when I’m gentle and loving with myself, it’s easy to be that way with others. I’ve learned about my part in my marriage, my part as a mother, and now get to discover my part as a grandmother.
I understand that my thoughts create my happiness or my suffering and that I can choose. I get excited when I think I get to continue exploring and learning more about myself and others.
I know in my bones I’m being called to share these discoveries with others because I understand the struggle and it sucks to go it alone. My best days are the days I coach amazing women, supporting them the same way I’ve learned to support myself.
True transformation of any kind takes time, energy, patience, and a TON of self-love. I want every woman to look back at her mistakes as stepping stones and life lessons so she can move on to create whatever she craves in her life.
