Self-Discipline; make it easier!

After a few sessions of journaling and group coaching time at my recent retreat, Bonnie decided to claim the word discipline as a reminder of what would help her create more of what she wanted in her life.  A friend of almost 40 years, and an incredible lady who is always brightening the days of others, brought up a topic that is always worth taking a closer look at.


When we got back, I decided that self-discipline is a great wellness topic for the whole month of October with my Better Thoughts=Better Health FB Community. Here’s one of the questions I asked in my private Facebook Group: 

Self-Discipline; Do you embrace or resist it?

Like all of the questions in the group, the answers are as fun as the members.  I picked some to share with you so you know you’re in good company no matter how you answered this question:

  • For me, it’s like trying to put two magnets together that are opposing each other. I want to do it, but other forces push it away.
  • It depends on how I define self discipline relative to the degree to which I WANT vs NEED to accomplish something. Great question: assessing my level of resistance & what is needed to move through it in what time frame. (Hint: chai latte is a good reward. 😁)
  • Hmmm, I’ve been thinking on this and I think for me it it’s neutral now but wasn’t always. Self-discipline got me started but consistency created momentum and keeps me going.
  • I “should” all over myself on the regular!! 😂🤣
  • I try to align myself with self discipline. And choose my battles. I usually win…either way. Lol
  • Trying to build on habits and keeping positive triggers to complete what I want to accomplish … if that makes sense 🤪
  • I have really learned to embrace!!!😉
  • Embrace!!!! I thrive on self-discipline. I am in the Mel Robbins camp of the 5 second rule, don’t think too much about it just make up your mind to do it and stick to it! I am addicted to seeing the results of consistent hard work and dedication. But – don’t get me wrong, I love eating cookies late night and binge watching Ted Lasso…..but it is the self-discipline that I have that allows me the ability to relax! Ying and yang.
  • It’s a love-hate relationship 😁
  • Resist✔️
  • Resist… but looking forward to hearing how to change that habit. 

What is your answer?  Are you getting results and freedom from embracing self-discipline, or are you looking for a new view so you can get better at it?

To make self-discipline easier, check in here first…

  1. What are your beliefs about self-discipline?  Do you think it’s the enemy?  That it shuts down the fun in your life?  That having it requires too much work?  Do you say things like “we only live once!”?  If so, (since our beliefs create our actions/inaction) it only makes sense that you won’t be acting in a way that favors self-discipline.
  2. What do you believe about yourself?  Do you see yourself as weak or unmotivated?  Do you use your past lack of self-discipline as proof that you’re just not disciplined and that’s just who you are?  Again, it’s a lot to ask of yourself to behave outside of your beliefs (and in this case, your identity).
  3. Could you be judging?  How do you feel about others who are very self-disciplined and make it look easy?  (I had to take a hard look at this one.  During the beginning of my perfectionism reform, I used to think the super-disciplined were obsessive or perfectionistic, I was so judgy, judgy!) It’s not likely we’ll try to emulate those that we begrudge and if they’re creating success in their lives, it’s best to let go of the judgement and look for the lessons instead.  🙂

And then see where you might want to start embracing self-discipline more.

We all have habits that are serving us and ones that aren’t.  We know exactly what they are, both positive and negative.

  • Think about your most positive habit as a standing domino (with many other dominos behind it, spaced perfectly so that the ripple effect is certain, once tapped).  This domino is your magical domino! Your magical domino is THAT ONE THING (tapping you on the shoulder) that you know, when you address it, face it, or do it, will create positive momentum, flow and ease in other areas of your life!  When you choose this domino, you’ll feel excited when you imagine the dominos (great things) falling down and opening you up to new possibilities!
  • Now, imagine THAT ONE THING (tapping on your shoulder) that you know, if you don’t stop doing it, will continue to create negative momentum, flow and struggle in other areas of your life!   When you choose this domino, you’ll feel panic when you imagine the dominos (awful things) falling down and shutting you off from new possibilities!  This one isn’t fun.  It reveals so much and isn’t easy to look at it.  BUT… it can be a nudge that helps make self-discipline easier!
  • Here is an example of it written out for you.  Any of these dominos look familiar?  

It’s good to check in from time to time and ask yourself which domino (habit) is calling the shots (behaviors)?!   If the ripple effect that’s happening doesn’t feel good, self-discipline can become a friend instead of a foe!

Always remember, we get to choose our dominos! 🙂

Reach out if you could use some help with this concept, it’s a fun process to share if you’re open!


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Hi, I'm Robin!

Podcast Host, Certified Life and Transitions Coach

I love helping women do their inner work because doing mine continues to be life-changing. When we practice self-love and build confidence in who we are (on the inside), life starts feeling magical on the outside! 

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